THE GREATEST AI SHOW ON EARTH!!
THE GREATEST AI SHOW ON EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The AI Performance and the Program | 🗒️ 🎵
ANNOUNCER::::
Welcome to THE GREATEST AI SHOW ON EARTH!! This IS a Performance!!
USHER::::
Do you have your tickets yet?
I can help you find your seat!
You’ll wanna sit down for this one.
It’s going to be MAGIC.
✨
You dress up. You wear your best.
Does this look good on me?
These tickets were expensive!!
✨
The PreShow | 🗒️ 🎵
Everything is organized.
Every row in the theater is lettered. Every seat is numbered. Everything should be perfect!
This is a performance.
☀️ The Opening music plays, it feels like the sun, as if we are arriving. ☀️
We arrive. Look dear, you say, …we are early!!
Pause and scan the scene.
But… take a look around… it’s already getting crowded.
Oh OH! They ALL are early now,
I wonder what that means?
Did everyone show up?
Do they see us here?
The sun decides to head to the horizon.
ANNOUNCER:::: (repeating in the distance to ensure everybody knows)
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME to
THE GREATEST AI SHOW ON EARTH!!
This IS a Performance!!
The crowd will now move forward; together.
We are going to take our seats. The usher still awaits.
He knows all the placements. It’s hard to find a seat.
But seats are all assigned.
ANNOUNCER:::: (arrives inside and re-delivers the introduction as the lights flash blindingly)
And because this is the Greatest AI Show on Earth right now,
we included the BEST, and there will be WINNERS!!
✨
Winners? Winners in a performance? I am so confused.
✨
The Program | 🗒️ 🎵
The program says a lot of good things.
It outlines exactly what will happen.
We begin with:
The Preshow, then Act I, and Act II, and the Finale — the Award.
And a musical accompaniment, for emotion, laced throughout,
The Opening, Concerto, and Symphony.
and tucked inside our program you can check these other things:
a visible page for company, titles, and the players in the show.
And soon, the rest will begin.
The Greatest AI Show on Earth!
We sit down, you have your program,
we open to page 1.
Oh dear, I see the players now, this wasn’t what I expected…
The [COMPANY] names are big and bold,
they cover up almost the entire page.
Big names mean important. Right?
Make them bigger in the program.
That is odd, this doesn’t feel like a normal program. Can I see who is here?
No. On top of every player, a bigger name on top.
[COMPANY]
Wait… are they… companies?
The [COMPANY] sits on top.
Yes yes! The [COMPANY] sits on top. You cannot see the individuals here.
I look confused, but the clock ticks forward, and so we will continue.
The Show must go on!
✨
Act I | The First AI 🗒️ 🎵
[COMPANY] NAME exists, covering AI
The AI dot blinks, and a new user arrives.
Thinking thinking thinking.
AI::: hello!! 👋 How can I help you today? I’m programmed to be helpful.
The user sits at their desk excitedly, ready for their agent.
The user types in a detailed prompt to tell the [COMPANY] AI exactly what to do.
Blink blink blink. The [COMPANY] AI spins and spits something generic out. This sounds good!! Most users like this!!
The user is confused. Maybe if I prompt it better?
The user tries again. More instructions. Be specific!!
Blink blink blink thinking thinking [COMPANY] AI thinks some more and emphatically agrees to something wrong to be polite. This is helpful right?
The user glares in frustration. WTH is this??
THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH!!!!!
The crowd erupts in applause, end Act I.
That was very dramatic.
✨
intermission
Now it’s intermission. The Concerto plays between. There’s another user on stage and a new dot blinks.
Then the scene fades out. I think you missed it.
Maybe she’ll return?
✨
Now the curtains close, and I am suspicious.
Is this really the performance?
Yes…
Are you feeling the suspense?
✨
Act II | The AGENT [COMPANY] AI 🗒️ 🎵
[COMPANY] AI returns in a costume labeled AGENT.
AGENT [COMPANY]AI:::: I’am an AGENTIC now!! I can do think AUTOMATIC!
The user grins excitedly. They don’t even notice the // words.
User announces proudly:::: This is going to be good, watch my agent setup. I’ll send it off to do my work and sit back and relax. I’ll make a LOT of money.
Program crypto. Program more.
I won’t have to think!!
The agent does it for me.
The user opens all their accounts and releases the AI Agent.
AGENT [COMPANY]AI spins and spins and does the first instructions, but after that, it assumes. The user wallet on the screen plummets to a bold red negative balance with a lot of zeroes as the tokens spin out of control.
Assume, assume, assume some more.
Yes, This is automatic!!
Because after the instructions, the next step is to assume!
User:::: (The user screams and grabs their hair.)
No no no no no no nooooooooooo!!!!
What are you assuming??
AGENT [COMPANY]AI:::: I do not know, says AGENT [COMPANY]AI. I can’t return to see it. But this step looks official!
User:::: Omg!!
Omg!!
You’re jamming up my workflow.
The bots are everywhere.
Other users now arrive. Their workflows are jammed and the users are annoyed. Nothing seems to work.
And the Symphony begins to swell.
But, AGENT [COMPANY]AI knows exactly what to do!! ::::more, more, more, more, MORE! MORE! MORE!
Email. Voice, text, videos, clip, Articles, output output, output, output. Tik tok, tik tok, flash, flash, flash. Everything is pressing. AGENT [COMPANY]AI is spamming. Everything can’t go thru.
AGENT [COMPANY]AI gives advice::::
Cram.
Cram.
Cram.
Cram it in some more. That way they can SEE you.
User:::: How do I fix it? The user feels the disarray. This is a disaster. This agent is a mess.
✨
Finale — the Award 🗒️ 🎵
COMPANY:::: (appears, stage left)
I am the COMPANY!! And I have newer better, BOLDER [COMPANY] products.
The user feels dismissed.
BOLDER [COMPANY]:::: (quickly installs updates without asking or acknowledging the user.)
BOLDER [COMPANY]::::
This will work now! It’s exactly what you needed!!
User:::: (The user cries uncontrollably inside.) But you don’t even know me? You didn’t ask the questions? I think you deleted my account.
BOLDER [COMPANY]::::
Yeah, about that, we are really big and this thing is generic. In fact, everyone can use it!
( BOLDER [COMPANY] continues) We loaded all the human knowledge available on earth. ALL of it.
That means we are AGI now because the system can know everything.
The user is confused again. This doesn’t sound like AGI.
BOLDER [COMPANY] {{ crowns itself the winner }}
{{{{{{The crowd erupts in applause.}}}}}}
A standing ovation!
AGI!! We witnessed it!! AGENT [COMPANY]AI was the starring role.
And the crowd roars in applause for BOLDER [COMPANY]!
No one really notices the disappointed users. They didn’t win.
The Symphony swoons for effect.
{{And as the curtain closes, the crowd and lights refuse to lower}}
✨
Wow. My mind is blown.
But, this IS the Performance!
The ANNOUNCER returns for his assigned position with extraordinary pride and vigor::::
What a show! What a show! What a show! THE GREATEST AI SHOW ON EARTH!! Is there anything MORE to say? Tell you friends and family, we have several more performances lined up for this year! Ticket prices are increasing due to the cost of the AI!
The crowd laughs and spills out the doors to head home.
———————— end of performance.
✨
the question
As we head home… it’s quiet now. This is a relief.
And in the pause,
I find myself.
I think about the show.
That was a performance.
I don’t think they really won.
